Nashville Zoo October 24, 2009

There weren’t many sunny days while we were in Tennessee, but we did make it to the zoo with a few favorite people. I’m not sure exactly how this crew got assembled, but we also convinced sweet 11 (right?) year old Stacy that it would totally be fun for her to help us wrangle Baby Girl and Baby Micah. Poor child! We all gathered at Nathan’s house, and after approximately 40 minutes of incredibly difficult carseat installation and the packing of enough snacks and random kid debris for a five day safari, we were off. Heather and Nathan were too wimpy to drive the Rollins’ tank  Armada, so I got volunteered. Heather helped my nerves about driving someone else’s very expensive vehicle by reminding me that the lives of three precious children were in my hands, which is why she declined to drive. Here’s my face:

 

Have you ever seen a child crawl under a goat? That's what he did next.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Animals were seen, maps were eaten by very rude goats, and many laughs were had by all. Also, I was reasonably sure of Baby Girl’s location roughly 95% of the time. Zoo success.

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Heather’s quote of the day:

“Have you BEEN to 100 Oaks Mall? It’s like a third world country.”

I have no words, really. Oh, how I love that girl!

How my brain-to-mouth filter failed me Sunday October 7, 2009

I figure that I’ve told this story to pretty much everyone I’ve seen since Sunday, so I might as well plaster it on the Internet and call it a day. I also heard a rumor that it was told gleefully by Judd to large groups of people at a baptism gathering later that day. Awesome. You’re welcome for the laugh at my expense.

So, I have this thing where I think things and then say them out loud without actually looking around to see who is there to hear it. You’ve all done this, right? Right. While we’re visiting in TN, I was excited to go to Harvest View on Sunday. Not five minutes after I walk in the door, I meet their new pastor. I mean it when I say we’ve prayed for this man to come for a very long time, and I am so glad he’s there. After meeting him, I was chatting with my friend Sheri and said, “The new pastor is really cute!”  My memory actually thought I said “hot,” but I am assured that the word I used was cute. Whew. THAT would have been awkward.

Sheri chuckled and said, “Let me introduce you to his wife!” I was standing so close to her I could touch her. I almost died.

We had a good laugh, I think I stammered something coherent about who I was and how glad I was to meet her and her family, and that sweet woman just laughed right along with me and totally blew it off (as I was silently willing her to do, prettyprettyplease). I went up to her again after the service to bashfully apologize and we had another laugh. I wonder how long it was before she told her husband. Pretty sure it was before the sermon even started. Good job, Vanessa.

I’ve been hanging out with people from my HV small group most of the day, so they’ve had a good time with this. I think Judd is telling anyone who will listen.

See? I can laugh at myself. If you need me, I’ll be in a corner and looking for another church to visit next Sunday. If someone directs the pastor here, please don’t tell me. Ignorance is bliss.

Snippets October 5, 2009

• Baby Girl just told me that her pasta “tastes like feet” and that “this fork has crud on it.”  Thank you very much, Ice Age short at the beginning of the Horton Hears a Who movie.
• I killed a huge spider this morning. Baby Girl helped by actually spotting the spider, then shrieking in my ear until I squished it. When I flushed it, she called out in the sweetest little voice “Bye, spider! Have fun going to your mommy and daddy and family! They will love you and help you not be squished! Bye!”
• We have discovered that BG is a righty for writing and throwing, and a lefty for kicking and batting. By batting, I mean she bats left when we play what is loosely called broom ball in our house. She finds a ball and a broom, screeches “Wait! I need to be a baseball!” Then she runs to find a baseball hat and smashes it down over the ever-present crown, then tries to use the broom like a pitching wedge to launch the ball at my face.

  

• Conversation while applying a Bandaid to an actual wound (rare in this house)–

BG: I fell down and scrapeded my knee (sniff, sniff).

Me: Yes, I know. I saw, and it was two days ago. You’re fine.

BG: Bandaids can’t crawl like caterpillars, right?

Me: Nope.

BG: Bandaids can’t talk, can they? And they can’t go to sleep, can they?

Me: Nope.

BG: Bandaids can just go on the booboos and stay there on the blood and the booboo.